


won't you give yourself to me (give it all)

by mrdaikichi



Series: you're the best part [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, No Explicit Sexual Content, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Texting, hyungkyun best friends, kihyuk best friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:01:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23664310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrdaikichi/pseuds/mrdaikichi
Summary: **main story is 6 chapters, 13k words. the rest is epilogues**Love, Minhyuk thought, staring at the picture of the couple on the page, was not this chemical, statistical-analysis-fodder shit. It was like.... a binary star system, maybe. Balance. Equal and opposite something or other.Or, in his case, a planet that, like, fell into the sun and didn’t mind.---------------------------------------------------------------------------In which Minhyuk has always been a little bit in love with Jooheon. Or something. Or something.(ft. confused showki, baristas hyungwonho, and. changkyun???)
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Lee Hoseok | Wonho, Lee Jooheon/Lee Minhyuk, Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Series: you're the best part [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738414
Comments: 60
Kudos: 85





	1. prologue - 2 am twixter

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys :) this is my first monstax fic! actually it's my first kpop fic so sry if i mess up the honorificss  
> some notesss-  
> \- this is set in korea i guess but i will be using american schooling systemmmm because i dont think i could ever do enough research on the korean university system to be, like, confident and do it justice
> 
> \- this first chapter is kind of slow sorry and i guess my writing style is ummmm developing but pls lmk what you think in thE COMMENTS! also comment what major u think the boys shd be i was thinking psych for minhyuk so i stuck him in freud hell aka human development
> 
> -i'll probably update this week
> 
> -yep wonho is in this. i love him and i fully support his solo career but also it's easier to write about mx like this, all together, at least for me
> 
> -title from best part by daniel caesar i changed it cuz im a weenie

It was 2:23 a.m. and Minhyuk felt like his eyes were going to fall out if he stared at his phone any longer. He kept doing it anyway, because he was in that weird extra-dimensional space between Wednesday and Thursday where you felt untouchable. He knew that come Thursday morning— _morning_ morning, post-7-o-clock morning—he would feel like someone had poured sand under his eyelids and regret being born, but. That was something Future Minhyuk would have to deal with.

Present Minhyuk, on the other hand, was fucking starving, so he swung his legs out of bed and crept out of his room, stepping on at least three pages of the stupid development study he’d given up on three hours ago. He swore the word _myelination_ was etched into his brain at this point.

Ha ha. Kind of.

Kihyun’s voice slipped out from under his door as Minhyuk crept past. “Yeah. Yeah, I miss you too, hyung,” he was saying, voice soft and a little bit sad. Minhyuk could hear Hyunwoo’s voice, too, tinny with distance, an overseas murmur.

He paused, noiseless in basketball socks on kitchen tile, and listened for a third voice. The voice of someone who would maybe hook their chin over Hyunwoo’s shoulder and grin brightly enough to give Kihyun temporary blindness from, like, a million miles away, or wherever the hell America was.

A funny feeling stirred in his stomach. It wasn’t hunger, Minhyuk thought. He chewed his bottom lip and felt the kitchen-tile cold seep through his socks. Maybe something like loneliness. He blinked a couple of times, then stretched up on his tiptoes in pursuit of a Twix from on top of the fridge. The wrapper crinkled a little bit, and he winced, then slid the chocolate into the sleeve of his hoodie and padded back past Kihyun’s door.

“Give me a sec, I can get him,” came Kihyun’s voice, and Minhyuk froze halfway to his room. “No, it’s all good. He’s eating candy in the kitchen.”

Damn it.

Kihyun’s door opened and he appeared, clutching his phone, with his eye mask pushed up on his forehead so his hair stuck straight out like a roof. He raised an eyebrow at Minhyuk, who was still frozen, and gestured at him to come in with his chin. Minhyuk complied. His Twix crinkled as he sat down.

“Don’t eat on my bed,” Kihyun warned. “Hyunwoo-hyung has an announcement.”

“Oh good,” Minhyuk said weakly. “Me too.”

Kihyun frowned. Minhyuk cleared his throat. He reached for his sleeve.

“Don’t fucking say that you have a few Twix up your sleeve,” Kihyun said, but the corner of his mouth was deviant and got halfway to a smile before he turned back to Hyunwoo. “Hey. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Hyunwoo said, and then he went, “Hi, Minhyuk-ah.”

Minhyuk waved his Twix at him.

“We’re coming home for winter break,” Hyunwoo said, and Kihyun’s mouth dropped open a little bit, and Minhyuk’s brain dropped out of his head.

Minhyuk’s heart threatened to pound right through his chest even as Kihyun cradled his phone and laughed because we. Hyunwoo had said we.

As in, him and Jooheon.

Coming home. Next week.

Minhyuk unwrapped his Twix and took a bite. It tasted like cardboard and he dropped crumbs on the bed and Kihyun shoved him onto the floor and his thoughts yawed wildly between _ow, my butt_ and _Jooheonjooheonjooheonjooheon._

At some point, with his ass on the floor of Kihyun's bedroom, his mind stilled enough for him to register Kihyun saying, "bye, hyung, bye, see you soon, text me your flight details," and then hanging up, and then whispering "love you" to a black screen. Which was. Which was pathetic and whatever but it was also a depressing reminder that people could, like, do something about their crushes, and not live in perpetual uncertainty.

Schrödinger's crush. Schrödinger's Jooheonnie.

Future Minhyuk was so fucked.


	2. twix feet under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which kihyun and minhyuk realize that they r screwed also i guess spoiler alert for revenge of the sith??????? but do u even need a spoiler alert for that EDIT: I JUST REALIZED i never clarified why shownu and jooheon went to america and it's for an exchange programmmmm ill add that in somewhere i promise oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hi this is a slow chapter but we are getting to some aCTION soon folks finally yyyyayyyyyyyyy we will officially meet 2won and changkyun in the next chapter tho u get a little taste of changkyun here heheheheh
> 
> also pls help me decide their majors im desperate
> 
> fun fact: to drunktype as changkyun i just typed the way i normally would to my friends
> 
> pls enjoy this self indulgent fluff with feEelings

“Hey, are you up? We’re leaving in twenty minutes,” Kihyun called, knocking on his door. Minhyuk groaned, stretched, and rolled out of bed onto the floor. He glanced at the clock: 5:45 a.m. Too early for this shit.

Eventually, he made it into the kitchen, gratefully burying his face in the coffee cup Kihyun offered him. 

“Do I get a thank you?” Kihyun asked, one eyebrow raised. He leaned over and started fixing Minhyuk’s hair, quick fingers smoothing stray strands back into place. Minhyuk blew him a kiss, and Kihyun rolled his eyes, grabbing the empty cup from Minhyuk’s hand and rinsing it. “I’ll drive,” he called over his shoulder. Minhyuk spun the keys around his finger, watching as Kihyun wiped his hands and patted his pockets before following him to the parking lot.

Minhyuk slid into shotgun and fumbled with his seatbelt, glancing sideways at Kihyun as he started the car, smiling to himself and humming. He could guess what _that_ was about.

“You seem happy,” he said.

“Oh,” Kihyun said. “Yeah. I am, I guess. Aren’t you?” He backed the car out, gaze trained on the rearview mirror, but Minhyuk didn’t miss the flush creeping up his neck.

Minhyuk’s head bumped against the window as Kihyun merged onto the freeway. The sky was pale, almost colorless, a wash of light pink bleeding up from the horizon. He wondered if Jooheon would look any different. Just after he’d left, they’d been in touch through sporadic text conversations, but those had eventually petered out as they both got busier. It wasn’t either of their faults, Minhyuk knew that, but still. He’d missed him.

 _That is the understatement of the fucking year,_ his brain yelled at him, along with _you should have made him a poster!!!!!!_

“Should we have made them a poster?” Kihyun mused, staring out at empty roads. “Or is that too cheesy?”

Sometimes their soulmate senses were through the roof.

\-- -- -- 

They’d been waiting at the curb for thirty minutes or so and Kihyun was on the verge of freaking out. He was about to call Hyunwoo for the third time in as many minutes when Minhyuk tugged at his sleeve and pointed out the window, because two hoodie-clad figures had just stepped out, dragging huge suitcases behind them. The shorter one was pointing at the car and Minhyuk rolled down the window and grinned and waved like a maniac, and Jooheon pulled down his facemask and grinned and waved back and yelled “Minhyuk-hyung!” and he could feel everything very slowly slotting back into place again.

That is, until Kihyun hissed at him to “go and _help_ them, you idiot, don’t just sit there!” and his roommate was already out of the car, running over to grab one of Jooheon’s bags and smiling like the fucking sun when Hyunwoo greeted him with “Kihyun-ah!”  
So Minhyuk opened the door and got out, and he was too late to be of any help, but something in his chest was threatening to explode so he ran and threw his arms around Hyunwoo, who staggered a little bit before hugging back, laughing, and then Minhyuk stepped back and Kihyun hugged him too, smiling into his shoulder.

And then.

And then Minhyuk went up to Jooheon and forced himself to override his internal heartbreak defense mechanisms and wrapped his arms around him and hoped his heart wasn’t beating hard enough for Jooheon to feel it. When they broke apart, Minhyuk let himself look at him, taking in all the tiny details: his expectant smile, bracketed by dimples, the new tiny chain in his left ear, the way his bangs had grown out until they reached his eyebrows. Minhyuk got a little lost staring at him, but Jooheon brought him down to earth when he said “I missed you, hyung,” like it was the easiest thing in the world, and that hurt a little bit, but in a good way. So Minhyuk said it back.

Hyunwoo ended up taking the shotgun seat next to Kihyun, leaving Minhyuk in the back with Jooheon, because God hath no mercy.

“Thanks for picking us up,” Hyunwoo said, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked at Kihyun out of the corner of his eye.

“Duh,” Minhyuk said. “It’s not like we would leave you guys to take an Uber and get kidnapped or something.”

Jooheon laughed, and Minhyuk’s stomach did happy cartwheels.

“Weird, you didn’t seem super opposed to ditching them this morning,” Kihyun said, because he was heartless. He grinned. “You should have heard him.” Kihyun managed to pitch his voice high and raspy at the same time. “No Kihyunie go awayyyy I’m sleeping they can walk right tell me they can walk—”

“I don’t sound like that,” Minhyuk complained, cheeks burning.

“You kinda do, hyung,” Jooheon said, eyes twinkling as he laughed, hand coming down on Minhyuk’s knee and staying there for a few seconds before sliding off.

Maybe this wasn’t, you know. The worst.

Both Hyunwoo and Jooheon fell asleep halfway home. The newly risen sun touched Jooheon’s cheeks with light and glinted off his new earring, and Hyunwoo’s honeyed skin looked like it was lit up from the inside. Minhyuk made eye contact with Kihyun in the rearview mirror and in that instant, he knew they were both resigned to their cruel fate.

\-- -- -- 

The four of them ended up in front of the TV, watching _Revenge of the Sith_ because why the hell not? Minhyuk had managed to sit next to Jooheon, which was a step in the right direction, but apparently he’d reached a cliff because he had no idea where to go from here. Every few minutes, Jooheon would complain about something like Anakin’s hair or how AWOL Yoda was and his lips would pout out in indignation and Minhyuk would resist the urge to reach over and just. Squeeze him to death, but in a way that said _I love you_ and also _I’m a cool, aloof, sexy motherfucker_ , but he was pretty sure at least a few of those things were mutually exclusive. So he contented himself with leaning back into the couch and watching the sad Hyunwoo/Kihyun romcom playing out on his left, where their hands would meet in the popcorn bowl and they would make blushy eye contact and then look away. Love was dead, Minhyuk decided then and there. Idiocy reigned.

By the time they got to Anakin’s flaming dismemberment, Hyunwoo was fast asleep and Jooheon was getting drowsier and clingier by the second. He reached out and brushed a thumb over Minhyuk’s (thankfully sweatpants-clad) inner thigh, brows furrowed and eyelids heavy.

“Do you still have your tattoo?” he asked.

“Of course he does, you dumbass,” Kihyun snapped. “It’s permanent.”

Sweet, gentle, loving Kihyun. Mihyuk tried to stare daggers at him, but was distracted by Jooheon curling into his side and mumbling, “I know,” against his neck. “I was just wondering.”

 _Shit_ , Minhyuk thought. _Shit shit shit shit shit._ He decidedly did _not_ have the high ground here.

\-- -- -- 

9:47 p.m.

**minhyuk:**  
hey changkyunnie what r u up to  
changkyunnie  
im changkyun 

**tonguekyun:**  
hi hyung  
im abt to go have some Crazy Drunk Fun  
u need smth??  


**minhyuk:**  
smh kids these days  
ok so this is completely hypothetical  
but imagine like u like like someone and they kind of  
fell out of ur life for a significant period of time  
and now their back  
and all ur repressed feelings r unrepressing themselves  
what would u hypothetically do.?  


**tonguekyun:**  
*they’re  


**minhyuk:**  
fuck u  


**tonguekyun:**  
ill deal w ur emotional baggage later  
<3  
byeee  


**minhyuk:**  
fuck u x2

1:02 am

  
**tonguekyun:**  
WABg tits up hyung/2?/  
im sorry i cannot. . help at the moment oyou as i am indispoed  
isdsespopined  
fingers are really fuckinf weird  
/ngpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp  
haha pp 

1:34 a.m.

**tonguekyun:**  
am i sitklj tonguekyun in youwr mphone


	3. betwixt and between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning: feels ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo people!!!  
> notes:  
> \- this fic will prob be abt 6 chapters  
> \- consistent chapter size?? dont know her  
> \- aLSO did anyone see the joohyuk moments in the YCHMH mv wow wow  
> \- ive noticed that i write in runon sentences from minhyuks POV a lot of the time and i guess it's because I tihnk in runons whoops sorry  
> \- enjoY!!
> 
> edit: i edit a lot post-posting so if u ever reread this and it's different... yea

“Just let me die,” Changkyun whisper-wailed, batting away the bagel and cup of gingery-smelling tea that Hyungwon was shoving at him.

“Bitch, I wish I could,” Hyungwon hissed, wiping his hands on his forest-green apron, “but your wounded animal noises are scaring away the Customers, so if you could eat this and shut the fuck up I’d be eternally grateful.” The way he pronounced customers, with a capital C, betrayed the horrors he’d seen in his three months working the register at the campus Starbucks. “The bagel’s on Minhyuk, by the way,” he called as he walked away.

Minhyuk glared at his back, then patted Changkyun’s shoulder sympathetically and stole a bite of his bagel. Changkyun pulled his hood over his eyes and mumbled something about repenting for his sins.

Hyunwoo watched, bemused, from across the table, with Kihyun sitting ramrod-straight next to him. Minhyuk cleared his throat.

“Um, Hyunwoo-hyung, this is Changkyunnie,” he said. “He’s, um…” he trailed off, staring at Changkyun, who groped blindly for the tea before drawing it into the recesses of his hoodie.

“He’s a freshman,” Kihyun cut in, “and he’s not usually like this.”

A lie. Changkyun was nothing if not perpetually suffering as a result of his late night endeavors. 

Minhyuk grabbed Changkyun’s hood and pulled it back so Hyunwoo could see his face, and Changkyun fucking _screeched_ as the sunlight hit his eyes. Hyunwoo blinked.

“Oh,” he said mildly, “you’re tongue guy.”

Kihyun looked like he might cry.

It was a little weird how quickly he and Kihyun had adjusted after Jooheon and Hyunwoo had gotten into the overseas exchange program and left, Minhyuk thought. Even weirder considering how it had always been him and Kihyun and Hyunwoo since high school, and then they’d met Jooheon last year and he’d wormed his way into their lives and stayed put. But the apartment was getting lonely and Kihyun was getting restless and cleaning shit he had no business cleaning, so Minhyuk invited over this guy who’d fallen asleep on him during a movie night, and that guy brought a friend. There was no denying that both Hyungwon and Changkyun were chaotic as fuck, but truth be told, Minhyuk liked it. Changkyun’s sarcasm and batshit crazy escapades were always a welcome distraction, and Hyungwon was disarmingly honest and grounding in the same way Hyunwoo had been. Kihyun felt it too, he knew, and in return he plied them with actual cooked food and an escape from hellish dorm life. And it worked.

Kihyun hadn’t stopped video calling Hyunwoo at least once a week, and he’d gotten all excited and tried to introduce Changkyun to him. They’d gotten as far as name and age when Kihyun mentioned that Hyunwoo was a linguistics major, and Changkyun had wiggled his eyebrows and said, “You must be good with your tongue, then.”

And a horrible silence fell over them for a few seconds and Kihyun repeatedly stabbed at the ‘end call’ button and hung up, but not before Hyunwoo could reply, “I am.”

That was coincidentally also the day Changkyun found out that Kihyun liked Hyunwoo.

Minhyuk snapped back to the present when the door jingled open and Jooheon stumbled in, fuzzy with sleep and tugging the sleeves of his yellow hoodie over his hands as he told Hyungwon his order. Minhyuk scooted over, smushing Changkyun against the wall, and patted the seat next to him. Jooheon sat down, a little uncertain, leaning around Minhyuk to look at Changkyun. He looked _perfect_ , Minhyuk couldn’t help but squeal internally, caramel-colored hair curling softly across his forehead, shadows under his eyes from jetlag, lips cracked and dry thanks to unforgiving airplane air.

Minhyuk yelped when the toe of Kihyun’s pointy boot connected with his shin, then realized he’d been staring. He sent him a look that said _how am I supposed to help it when he shows up looking, like, I don’t know, the fucking sun or whatever_ and also _fuck you very much!!!!!_

“Changkyunnie, this is—” he began, but was interrupted by Hyungwon banging Jooheon’s iced coffee down in front of him with unnecessary force.

“That’s it,” the barista snarled, “I am so done with this guy. He thinks he can barge in and mop floors and smile with his stupid mouth and spell people’s names right a couple times and all of a sudden the manager likes him better than me? _Me???_ ” Hyungwon pointed a shaking finger at the tacky banner that read EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH up behind the counter. “My picture has been up there for the last eight weeks, and now _look_. His stupid face is watching me all the time. Do you know how hard it is to make a cappuccino when the eyes of your archnemesis are literally burning holes in your—” He broke off, looking between Hyunwoo and Jooheon. “Hi,” he said, belatedly. “Do I know you?”

“Hyungwon-ah,” Kihyun said Very Calmly around a painful smile, “This is Hyunwoo-hyung and Jooheon. Jooheon’s a sophomore too.”

“Oh, cool, nice to meet you,” Hyungwon said, nodding at them. “Um, sorry about all that,” he added, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “I guess I just…” He trailed off.

Jooheon, who had been squinting at Hyungwon for a while, spoke up:

“Do you like him?”

Hyungwon gaped at him. “Do I… sorry?”

“Do you like the, um, archnemesis guy? Because you said ‘stupid mouth’ at one point, and usually in books and shit that’s, like, a sign that you find them incredibly attractive.” Jooheon waved his hands in a way that was probably supposed to convey something. His mouth looked very stupid to Minhyuk at that moment.

“Do I like Hoseok-ssi?” Minhyuk had never seen Hyungwon like this before, almost stuttering, voice climbing a little higher. “I’m sorry, who are you again—”

“Yeah, Hyungwon-ssi?” said a new voice, and Hyungwon practically startled out of his skin. The guy who had spoken was clutching a mop, green apron stretched tightly over his muscled chest. “Did you call me?”

“Oh, no, I was just, um—”

But the guy wasn’t listening, he was staring over Hyungwon’s shoulder at Minhyuk, and then he was grinning and pushing past Hyungwon and going, “Lee Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk’s brain did a whole hard reboot before something dawned on him and he went “Ohhhhhhhhh.”

“Remember me?” Hoseok said, and he was still grinning, and a tiny, tiny wrinkle appeared in Jooheon’s brow.

“Oh my god, yeah,” Minhyuk said, nodding.

“In the architectural texts section,” Hoseok said, and then he laughed. “Good times. I haven’t seen you in, like, two years!” His brain seemed to register Hyungwon again, and he looked him up and down. “You look like a green bean, Hyungwon-ssi,” he said, and then shot him finger guns as he walked away backwards.

Hyungwon spluttered. Kihyun very slowly leaned forward until his forehead rested on the table.

“Huh,” Hyunwoo said, and that about summed it up.

\-- -- --

After Hyungwon had composed himself sufficiently to function again and gone back to the register and a kind of friendly conversation had sprung up at their table, Jooheon turned to Minhyuk with half a grin and said, “So, hyung, he was your hookup?”

His voice sounded light enough, but there was something in his eyes that made Minhyuk a little unsure of himself, like he was walking on ice. In the background, Kihyun and Hyunwoo giggled at a picture on Hyunwoo’s phone.

(“Kihyun-ah. This is from when we were in Chicago. What do you think? I look good here, right?”)

“Once,” he said, slowly, “in freshman year.” Then, because he hated himself, he went, “Why, Honey-yah, you jealous?” And reached out and pinched his cheek.

“Mmm,” Jooheon said, and shrugged, and sipped his coffee. Minhyuk’s heart was beating in his throat. Next to him, Changkyun’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god, hyung, is this the person you texted me ab—”

“Okay,” Minhyuk said abruptly, cutting off whatever life-ruining thing Changkyun was about to say. “Why don’t we go? I think Hyungwon has enough to deal with without us being here, too.”

Kihyun nodded, standing up. “I’ll walk with Hyunwoo-hyung back to the apartment. I think he’s about to pass out.” He fished in his pockets for the keys, then held them out to Minhyuk. “If you love me, you’ll go grocery shopping. You should sleep, too, Jooheonnie.”

“Nah, I’ll go with Minhyuk-hyung.” Minhyuk’s heart skipped a beat. He was probably going to get chronic arrhythmia if Jooheon kept saying his name in that sweet, drawling way. “Jackson has his friends over, so it’s not like I’ll be able to sleep, anyway.”

So they left Changkyun munching half-heartedly at his bagel and sent the other two stumbling home, one of Kihyun’s arms around Hyunwoo’s waist because “you’re obviously super tired, hyung, I shouldn’t’ve made you get up so early.” Hyunwoo looked fine to Minhyuk, but he leaned into Kihyun as they walked, so maybe he really was tired. Or something.

\-- -- --

Minhyuk clenched and unclenched his hands on the steering wheel before starting the car. Jooheon was next to him, and he smelled a little bit like laundry detergent, and his hood had slipped down enough to reveal his dark, grown-out roots.

“Remember,” Jooheon began suddenly, “when we walked to 7-eleven from class and bought ice cream in the middle of January and sat outside and it snowed? And your mouth got frozen to your popsicle?”

“My stupid mouth,” Minhyuk said, for some reason.

“Yeah. Your stupid mouth.” Jooheon turned to him and grinned, dimples deep and eyes dancing with mirth. It was all Minhyuk could do not to swerve off the road. “And then we had to go back and get coffee to melt you free.”

Minhyuk had been thinking for the last few days about how on earth he was going to catch Jooheon up on everything that had happened while he was gone so they wouldn’t be talking at each other from across a chasm. But it seemed like they had maybe tessered, or something, and bridged the gap between Then and Now and made it Always. He smiled, and bit his lip.

“Of course I remember,” he said as they pulled into the parking lot of that same 7-eleven. “Let’s do it again, Honey-yah. I’ve missed you.” And as he turned to look at Jooheon, he felt like he had finally said it enough times, and his cheeks hurt from smiling, and Jooheon held his gaze and didn’t look away and yeah, they were definitely tessering again to God knows where, sliding sideways through space and time.

“I was kind of weird back there, wasn’t I?” Jooheon said, laughing, but he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “With, um, Hoseok, I mean.” He paused, and looked out of the windshield. “It just feels kind of weird to think of people knowing you before I did.” He bit his lip and glanced at Minhyuk, who stared back. Shit, he was supposed to say something, right? He panicked, and settled on,

“Yeah, I get that.”

Not his finest work.

“Oh, yeah, I got you something, hyung,” Jooheon said then, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a tiny jewelry box. All of Minhyuk’s proposal fantasies rudely hijacked his very coherent thought process as Jooheon struggled with the box. “It’s an earring, like mine,” and he turned so Minhyuk could see the delicate chain hanging from his ear and shook his head a little bit so it dangled around.

“Cute,” Minhyuk cooed, trampling that line between “friends” and “something else” because that’s what he was good at. “Why are you so cute?”

Jooheon blushed and leaned carefully into Minhyuk’s space, avoiding his eyes as he reached out and tucked a few strands of silver-gray behind his ear. Minhyuk held his breath as Jooheon tugged at his earlobe with his tongue between his teeth, frowning in concentration, sliding the earring in and fastening it. There was a moment, before he sat back and the air temperature dropped back to normal, where their noses danced around each other and everything was warm, too warm, a moment where Jooheon’s fingers caught at Minhyuk’s shoulder, a moment where Minhyuk could count every single one of Jooheon’s eyelashes if he wanted to. And by God, did he want to.

But that moment was just a moment, and it passed, and Minhyuk reached up and felt the chain with his fingers and said, “Thank you, Honey-yah. Saranghae,” and winked. And Jooheon blushed, and ducked his head, and looked a little flustered. A tiny sprout of hope grew in Minhyuk’s chest. Maybe, just maybe, Jooheon wanted to walk the “more-than-friends” line, too, he let himself think for about 0.01 seconds before stomping the sprout to death with a pair of spiky boots that said REALITY on the bottom. His ability to visualize stuff was truly horrifying.

They went inside and bought ice cream and all the other crap from the list Kihyun had texted them, standing too close to each other in front of the ramen shelf and chasing each other out to the car with arms full of groceries. They unwrapped their ice cream and ate it in the car with the heater on, even though it was Kihyun’s and he had a strict no-food policy when it came to literally anything upholstered, and Jooheon reached out and wiped chocolate from below Minhyuk’s lip and told him his earring looked pretty. Minhyuk was practically flying the whole way home.

That is, until he kicked open the front door with his arms full of groceries to see Kihyun and Hyunwoo literally frickin’ making out, and there was a thud from beside him as Jooheon dropped the bag of onions. Kihyun went “YAH yah yah yah” and almost fell over and Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to die and. Yeah.

\-- -- --

After leaving the cafe, Kihyun and Hyunwoo had walked home, sniffling in the cold. Kihyun was talking and Hyunwoo was laughing every now and then, his eyes turning into sweet crescents. They were pressed together waist to shoulder, partly because it was cold and partly because Kihyun was selfish, and Hyunwoo didn’t seem to mind. His heart panged a little bit as he imagined what Hyunwoo would say if he knew, but he shoved that thought to the back of his mind and kept talking.

When they got into the apartment, Hyunwoo went to the bathroom to change, and Kihyun stood in the middle of the living room and thought about Things.

Sometime during high school, Kihyun’s platonic admiration for Hyunwoo had gotten significantly less platonic. They’d always been a unit, Kihyun and Hyunwoo, because both of them liked familiarity and weren’t as outgoing as Minhyuk, who made new friends every week. They were close enough for it to hurt, really hurt, when Hyunwoo tried to explain that he’d be gone for the majority of the last year they really had together.

Even if he didn’t admit it to himself super often, Kihyun felt like both of them noticed the Something that had been building between them for the last few years. There’d been moments when they’d been the last line of defense for each other, if that made any sense at all. Like safety nets. Someone to kind of fall into when things got overwhelmingly shitty. Kihyun was pretty sure he was one of the only people who’d ever seen Hyunwoo cry. Having that ripped away had driven Kihyun to distraction, and now Hyunwoo was back and everything was somehow a lot better and a lot worse, because he would be gone again in the next two weeks. They’d video called pretty much every three days, and he’d felt so, so close but so far at the same time.

Hyunwoo walked out of the bathroom in sweatpants, pulling a dark blue t-shirt over his head, and Kihyun’s brain rapidly extrapolated that he must’ve kept on working out while in America. Something twisted in his stomach. He cleared his throat and said, “Do you want to watch a movie or something? I’ll get the snacks.”

Hyunwoo went “sure, okay,” and flopped down on the couch, fiddling with the remote for a little bit.

Kihyun poured some chips in a bowl and realized his hands were shaking, which was stupid, because this was Hyunwoo and they’d done this a thousand times before, a million even, and he wasn’t anymore in love now than he had been then.

“You need any help?” Hyunwoo asked, turning around to look at him. And really, it was because he was on tenterhooks and the Something between them had never felt this tangible, but Kihyun flinched at the eye contact and crap crap crap, he’d given it away, hadn’t he?

“What’s wrong?” Hyunwoo said, and when he didn’t get a reply he got up and walked over to Kihyun, stopping awkwardly a few feet away.

“I don’t want you to go,” Kihyun heard himself say, and then the dam burst.

Kihyun didn’t cry, he couldn’t cry, he never cried, but he started talking and then it was hard to stop. He told Hyunwoo all the Things he’d been thinking about, staring at the bowl of chips in his hands the whole time, told him about how Minhyuk had found new friends and they were sweet and awesome, they really were, but they hadn’t been Hyunwoo. He may have accidentally told Hyunwoo about Minhyuk’s huge crush, too, but honestly, he didn’t even care at that point, he’d been stretched too thin for too damn long. He’d been fucked up when Hyunwoo left, really fucked up, and he didn’t know _why_ but he wanted it to stop, and—

“Kihyun-ah,” Hyunwoo said, voice a little strangled.

Kihyun went, “Yeah?”

“I’m going to kiss you now. If that’s okay.”

“Okay,” he whispered, and Hyunwoo stepped really really close and kissed him, slow and sweet and perfect and way way way too short. He pulled away and studied Kihyun’s face for a little bit and Kihyun studied him right back, memorizing how his brown eyes were unreadable as ever but his expression was soft soft soft, the slope of his nose and the upturn of his lips gentle.

Hyunwoo tipped Kihyun's chin up with one hand and leaned back in.

Kihyun sighed a little bit when Hyunwoo’s warm hands found his waist under his shirt and tipped his head to one side, angling their mouths together better. He let the overwhelmingness of this moment wash over him, ran his fingers through Hyunwoo's short hair, laughed, exhilarated, against his mouth.

He felt the Something slowly dissipate. Good fucking riddance. This—Hyunwoo kissing him in the kitchen after his rant—was like if Shostakovich suddenly went full baroque and ended with a sweeping cadence, he thought. Or maybe just, like, a Picardy third.

His train of thought was derailed by Hyunwoo’s linguistically talented tongue tracing the curve of his lower lip, and then further derailed when Minhyuk kicked open the door and onions went fucking everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D


	4. party twix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hyung,” Minhyuk heard Kihyun say, voice threaded through with sleep, “you never answered my question.”
> 
> Yikes. Minhyuk hoped this didn’t turn sexy.
> 
> weed mentioned once, drinking happens, implied sexual content toward the enddd
> 
> r u ready for hyungwonho lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so ive realized that hyungwon shd be in the same grade as min and ki but whoops too late  
> also its like sofuckinglate and ao3 was shoving extra bold tags down my throat for whatever reason so i didnt proofread this ye ah  
> have fun kidz

**tonguekyun:**  
its him isnt it

 **minhyuk:**  
what u talkin about

 **tonguekyun:**  
u know what im talking about butt hole

 **minhyuk:**  
that’s hyung to u  
brat

 **tonguekyun:**  
butt hole hyung  
it’s jooheon  
the person u wanna hmm hmm with  
ur unrepressed feelings blah blah blah

 **butt hole hyung:**  
??? ???????  
no???????????  
i dont want to hmm hmm with anyone

 **tonguekyun:**  
if u say so

 **butt hole hyung:**  
i do say so  
unrepressed plATONIC feelings  
y did i ask u again ?:(

 **tonguekyun:**  
bc im the love doctor hyungie

 **butt hole hyung:**  
gross  
go snort weed with taehyung or whatever it is u guys do

 **tonguekyun:**  
……….snort weed……….  
oh my god hyung

\-- -- --

Minhyuk lay on his bed, reading his stupid textbook and spacing out by turns. He didn’t really need to be doing stuff right now. It was break, after all. But he had to do _something_ , or he’d end up thinking about Jooheon. He looked at the textbook and read,

_Pairbonding is a trademark of the human animal._

Gross. He wrinkled his nose and scanned further down the page.

_...marriage is a predictor of happiness, health, sexual satisfaction, and income._

And then it talked about relative crime rates in a majority married neighborhood. God, this book was just fucking depressing. Studying human psychology and being romantic didn’t exactly mesh well, but Minhyuk was determined to have it both ways. Love, he thought, staring at the picture of the couple on the page, was not this chemical, statistical-analysis-fodder shit. It was like.... a binary star system, maybe. Balance. Equal and opposite something or other.

Or, in his case, a planet that, like, fell into the sun and didn’t mind.

Across the hall, he heard Kihyun’s doorknob turn with a soft click. The floorboards creaked under his roommate’s feet as he walked into the living room, and the couch gave a sort of resigned exhale as he sank down on it next to Hyunwoo, who was working on some honors essay on the couch with the TV going, squinting at his laptop screen even though he had his glasses on.

“Hyung,” Minhyuk heard Kihyun say, voice threaded through with sleep, “you never answered my question.”

Yikes. Minhyuk hoped this didn’t turn sexy.

“Or, I guess, my statement. I’m not, like, trying to be selfish, you get that, right?” There was real worry bleeding into his voice. Minhyuk heard someone shift, and imagined Hyunwoo putting an arm around Kihyun, imagined sleepy Kihyun curling into his side, imagined the light from the TV flickering across their faces.

Fuck pairbonding, he thought. He felt a little reckless.

“Is there any way you could stay after break?” Kihyun asked, and he said it so easily, but Minhyuk’s breath caught in his throat. “You’re a senior,” he added, like it explained everything, and maybe it kind of did.

“I don’t know,” Hyunwoo said, and let that hang in the air a little while. “I’ve been thinking about it. I guess I’d have to ask them to make it a semester abroad instead.”

Minhyuk heard Kihyun go “mmm.”

“Jooheon-ah and I talked about this, actually. I don’t think America really suited either of us well,” he said, and there was a smile in his voice, and he kept talking, saying something about the food, but Minhyuk barely registered any of it, because _Jooheon didn’t like America._

He abandoned the stupid textbook and stared at the ceiling. The next morning, when he woke up and staggered to the kitchen for sustenance, he saw Kihyun and Hyunwoo asleep on the couch, and swallowed, and made up his mind.

He would tell Jooheon this week.

\-- -- --

**hyungwon:**  
minhyukie

 **minhyuk:**  
yeah

 **hyungwon:**  
that was so out of character  
u good

 **minhyuk:**  
?? im fine

 **hyungwon:**  
i feel like ud normally be like  
omg,,, THE chae hyungwon,,,, texting ME first???  
to what do i owe this great honor?????  
or smth

 **minhyuk:**  
oMg……,,....tHE chAe HyungWOn,,, texting ME, a humble peasant, FIRST??????????  
to wHAT do i owe this great hOnor?!??????..//?

 **hyungwon:**  
yeah smth like that

 **minhyuk:**  
what do you want from me green bean

 **hyungwon:**  
okay no

 **minhyuk:**  
greeny beany lil weenie

 **hyungwon:**  
bye

 **minhyuk:**  
sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy  
i know it’s not lil :(

 **hyungwon:**  
sometimes i wish i couldnt read  
anyway  
changkyunnie wants to have a party  
for new yrs and our bdays  
but we r sad underclassmen who live in dorm rooms  
selling point: it’s an opportunity to get piss drunk and partay with no responsibilities to deal with afterward

 **minhyuk:**  
huh

 **hyungwon:**  
^im copypasting changkyun  
could u ask kihyunnnn <3  
well bring the food and stuff we just need a venue

 **minhyuk:**  
smh manipulating me w hearts  
ok fine  
when is it

 **hyungwon:**  
new fucking years

 **minhyuk:**  
oh yeah

\-- -- --

It wasn’t long before they ended up alone together again. Like the universe was giving Minhyuk a chance. He imagined a ton of angels or whatever, watching from above the clouds, taking bets on whether or not he was going to confess. No pressure though.

Jooheon had come over to return Kihyun’s fancy recording mic and play him a snippet of the song he was working on, watching intently as Kihyun bobbed his head to the beat and eventually gave him a thumbs up.

“You like it?” Jooheon asked, reaching over to slide his headphones off of Kihyun’s ears.

“It’s really good,” Kihyun said. “Kind of more, like, sad than your stuff usually is, though. I like the bridge.” An alarm went off in his pocket and he swore under his breath. “I have a tutoring session,” he said, getting up. “Thanks for bringing the mic back!” And he was gone, closing the door quietly behind him even in a rush.

Hyunwoo was at the gym, so that left Minhyuk on the couch and Jooheon at the coffee table.

“You wanna listen, hyung?” Jooheon asked after a beat, holding out his headphones. Minhyuk nodded and put them on. Jooheon pressed play.

It did sound sad, Minhyuk thought, or maybe plaintive was a better word. It was slower than most of Jooheon’s tracks, smoother, not as jagged, but with that same driving pulse.

“Is this rap or spoken word?” Minhyuk asked, laughing when Jooheon pouted and kicked him in the shin and went _hyuuung!_ The words were about love, but Minhyuk forbade himself from reading into that, because which lyrics weren’t? Two minutes in, the synths dropped out and Jooheon sang over a quiet pluck, voice honey-like as it dripped from note to note.

“Whoa,” Minhyuk said, taking off the headphones. “The bridge really is good. Your voice is so pretty, Jooheonnie.”

Jooheon dimpled up at him and Minhyuk’s heart fluttered a little bit. He swallowed, wet his lips, and opened his mouth, not sure what he was going to say, but at this point, he felt like he owed it to his angelic bettors to say something confession-y. Before he could, Jooheon spoke:

“Did you know Hyunwoo-hyung is trying to get his second exchange term canceled?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Minhyuk said carefully. “I mean, I heard him talking to Kihyunie about it.”

“Huh.” Jooheon’s gaze slid past him, focusing somewhere in the distance. “You know, hyung, I dated this girl there for a few weeks. ”

“In America?” Minhyuk asked. He fidgeted with the cord of Jooheon’s headphones, wrapping it around his finger. It didn’t matter if he’d dated someone. It didn’t.

“Yeah,” Jooheon replied, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. His face looked like a dumpling, Minhyuk’s animal brain thought, a tiny sweet something squished between chopsticks.

“It didn’t really work out,” he said. “We were friends before we started dating. She was one of my best friends, actually…”

(Minhyuk’s heart panged.)

“...but now we’re not in touch.”

Minhyuk reached out and pulled him up onto the couch, winding an arm around his waist and tucking his face into the crook of his neck. “Aw, Honey,” he said softly, rubbing a thumb over Jooheon’s palm. “Was it a bad breakup?”

Jooheon huffed a soft laugh, and Minhyuk felt his breath against the back of his neck. “No, not really. It just reminded me of how quickly things can change.”

Oh, Minhyuk thought, maybe this conversation wasn’t out of nowhere after all. The whole Kihyun and Hyunwoo thing had seemed really natural to him, but Jooheon _had_ committed mass onion murder on sight.

“You know, Ki and Hyunwoo will probably be really solid together,” he said softly. “Things have changed, and they can keep changing. We’ll get through it.”

“Oh,” Jooheon said, surprise in his voice. “Yeah, for sure. I wasn’t talking about, um, that, but yeah, I guess so.”

A few seconds later, or maybe minutes, Minhyuk didn’t know, he felt Jooheon tracing his back tattoo, fingers dipping below his collar and leaving tingles in their wake.

Minhyuk didn’t dare say anything now. Things could change, he thought, so maybe he should keep his mouth shut. And it sounded a hell of a lot like Jooheon thought so, too.

\-- -- --

**green bean work:**  
hoseok-ssi

 **hoseok:**  
whats up  
need me to cover ur shift  
u can call me hyung btw

 **green bean work:**  
ok  
hyung  
do you have plans for new yrs

 **hoseok hyung:**  
no lol  
do u need a date?  
good choice  
i have great employee benefits @ this one coffee shop ;)

 **green bean work:**  
what no no no  
changkyuns forcing me to throw a party  
and we need ppl there so  
y eah

 **hoseok hyung:**  
oh cool!!!  
ill try to be there :3)

  


**green bean work:**  
what the fuck kind of smiley face is that

 **hoseok hyung:**  
its cute!!

 **green bean work:**  
it has balls on its face

 **hoseok hyung:**  
??!!!  
thats its NOSE

\-- -- --

“Hey, Hyungwon-ah,” Hoseok said, looking over at Hyungwon from where he was heating up a croissant. They were maybe three feet away, but his presence was almost oppressively warm. Hyungwon’s skin prickled under the collar of his black polo. “You never told me where that party was,” and he looked over with his bangs falling into his eyes. Hyungwon looked back down as soon as they made eye contact, focusing on adding a swirl of whipped cream to a vanilla bean frappuccino.

“It’s at Minhyuk and Kihyun’s apartment,” he said, and Hoseok gave a soft “ahh,” nodding. “We could go together after we get off,” he said. “Like, stop by at our places to get ready and stuff, and then…” he trailed off, ears burning, because that sounded stupid and impractical even to him, but Hoseok was nodding.

“We can just go to yours, actually,” he said. “I brought my stuff.” He shot Hyungwon a winning smile. “Foresight.”

“Mm,” Hyungwon said, ducking his head to hide his smile. The whipped cream was dripping down the sides of the cup. “Fuck,” he muttered, and Hoseok laughed at him, a frustratingly nice sound, all white teeth and pink tongue.

At around 7 p.m., they made the long walk to Hyungwon’s dorm, talking about mutual friends.

“I saw that guy Hyunwoo at the gym,” Hoseok said, twisting a lollipop in his mouth. “And his boyfriend, too. I can lift more than him, though,” and he turned his smile on Hyungwon again, who laughed, then looked at Hoseok’s arms and swallowed and said, “I bet.” Fuck, this polo had some serious heat-retention capabilities.

Hoseok whistled as Hyungwon unlocked the door to his room. “You got a single? Nice.”

“Yeah, it is,” he said. “The bathroom’s over there, if you want to change.” Hoseok nodded and went in.

Hyungwon changed into a gray sweater and fitted dark jeans, clasped a thin silver chain around his neck, parted his hair on one side, and thought idly about Hoseok’s lisp.

(“Thtarbukth,” he’d said as they walked, and Hyungwon had cracked up behind his hands. “No! Thtarbuckth!”)

He checked on the huge bags of snacks and was in the middle of texting Changkyun when Hoseok came out of the bathroom and his phone slipped a little in his grasp, because Hoseok was wearing a dark gray button-up (with the top two buttons undone, he thought despairingly) tucked into sinfully tight black pants.

“Oh, wow,” he said a little weakly, 

“Tho thexthy,” Hoseok said in English, and laughed. Hyungwon laughed too. Hoseok licked his lollipop-stained lips.

Hyungwon swallowed again, tried not to stare, and failed miserably.

He wasn’t sure how Hoseok managed to get him against the wall within the next three seconds, but he really couldn’t care less, because his mouth was hot and wet and _perfect_ , so Hyungwon fisted his hands in the front of Hoseok’s creaseless shirt, gasping _hyung_ into his mouth, tasting cherry candy on his tongue and God, _God_ , was this even real?

Hyungwon pulled away for the briefest second to drag Hoseok into his room by one wrist, then muffled a high-school giggle against his stupid magnetic mouth. He traced the curves of Hoseok’s hipbones with his thumbs, kissed him slow and lazy then fast and dirty in the space of seconds. 

“And here I thought you didn’t like me,” Hoseok said, a little breathless, smirking in a way that was definitely dangerous to Hyungwon’s health.

“I don’t like you,” Hyungwon muttered, fidgeting with the stubborn buttons on Hoseok’s shirt. “You stole my employee of the month thingy.”

“I’d better make up for it, then,” Hoseok breathed, leaning back in.

 _Foresight,_ Hyungwon thought giddily, as Hoseok pressed careful, openmouthed kisses to his jaw and down his neck, _foresight,_ as he brought their hips together in quiet desperation, as Hoseok dropped to his knees in front of him and _oh_.

Needless to say, they were very late.

\-- -- --

Changkyun met them at the door, clutching a melting ice cream bar, quickly scanning Hyungwon and Hoseok before raising an unimpressed eyebrow.

“As your best friend,” he began, “I am extremely disappointed in you, Hyungwon-hyung. What happened to bros before hoes?”

“What?” Hyungwon squeaked, voice cracking. “What are you talking about?” Hoseok shifted next to him, hiding a smile behind his armful of family-size snack bags.

“I’m talking about those bite marks on your neck,” Changkyun said. He paused to lick melted ice cream from his fingers. “And the fact that Hoseok-hyung looks like someone dragged him for a mile by his hair.”

Whoops. That was his fault, Hyungwon thought, tugging up the collar of his sweater. He flashed back to half an hour ago, remembered tangling his fingers in Hoseok’s hair as he—

“Anyway,” Changkyun said, “you guys should come in, especially since you have, like 80% of the food.”

The party wasn’t super crowded. Changkyun had invited some of his other friends and his roommate Taehyung. Hoseok waved at some people he knew, too. The couch had been pushed out of the way and streamers lined the walls. There was some sparkly confetti on the floor and the lights were dimmed. One of those tacky LED globe things pulsed from a corner.

“I’m gonna go over there,” Hoseok said to Hyungwon, a little awkwardly, and Hyungwon nodded. Changkyun grabbed his wrist and yanked him over to the snack table. He ladled something spiked and ungodly into a cup with one hand. Hyungwon went for a beer.

“Now we are going to stand over here and you are going to tell me every single thing that happened,” Changkyun hissed. “Last I checked, you didn’t have a boyfriend, and you definitely weren’t dating an incredibly ripped senior.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Hyungwon said. “We’re not dating. We just. You know,” and he flapped his hands around a little helplessly.

Changkyun nodded thoughtfully, eyebrow piercing winking under the lights. The party pulsed around them, warm and inviting in a way college parties usually weren’t. Yeah, people were still drinking out of plastic cups and making out in dark corners, but it seemed… coherent. Hyungwon couldn’t shake the feeling that things were going to happen tonight, that they already _had_ happened.

“So who are you gonna kiss at midnight?” Changkyun asked, feigning offhandedness around the remnants of his popsicle.

Hyungwon glared at him. “You’re not fucking subtle,” he said, but a tide of anticipation swept through him, and his eyes sought Hoseok out in the crowd.

“You’re hopeless,” Changkyun groaned. “I’m going to go offer my counseling services to another couple in need, and then I’m going to ask Tae if he’ll kiss me.”

“Doesn’t he have a boyfriend?” Hyungwon said.

“Yeah, why?” Changkyun called back over his shoulder. The low light swallowed him and Hyungwon leaned against the wall, wiping beer-bottle condensation off his hands onto his pants. He was content to just peoplewatch, he decided, but then Hoseok appeared smiling at his side and said, “dance with me?”

\-- -- --

Minhyuk was having a hard time, and it was all Jooheon’s fault.

Jooheon was wearing _makeup_. His eyelids were smeared with soft coppery shadow and Minhyuk swore he could see the faintest smudge of eyeliner flicked out at the corners of his eyes. His lips were tinted brick red and his hair was straightened and swept off his forehead, one-sided bangs falling over a slit, darkened eyebrow. When he’d shown up at the door and Minhyuk had gone to let him in, he’d just kind of stood there and stared until Jooheon had cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows. There’d been half of a teasing smirk on his lips, too, like he knew he looked good, which was. Definitely worse.

Jooheon could drink, Minhyuk couldn’t. Minhyuk sipped gingerly at the same cup of Changkyun’s punch all night, which had a taste vaguely reminiscent of gasoline, while Jooheon was halfway through his second beer by 10 p.m. He did get a little bit tipsy and a little bit touchy, which was fine. It was fine when he hugged Minhyuk from behind and they swayed, giggling, to the stupid sappy song that Changkyun played by accident. It was fine when he saw Kihyun and Hyunwoo share a quiet kiss in a corner and buried his face in Minhyuk’s chest with a muffled groan of “ahhhhh they’re so embarassing.”

It got a little bit less fine when Changkyun walked over, grinning, and threw an arm around Minhyuk’s shoulders. He made grabby hands at Jooheon until he came closer, confused, then held a finger to his lips.

“Who are you guys gonna kiss?” he said, tongue in the corner of his mouth, grin devilish. Minhyuk’s blood ran cold at his words.

He’d been aware on some level that New Years’ entailed kissing, but he hadn’t really thought about it in connection with Jooheon’s general existence, which had obviously been a mistake, because those two things appeared very very connected at this moment.

Jooheon shrugged, and said, “Whoever’s closest, I guess.”

Oh. Huh.

“Oh,” Changkyun said, echoing Minhyuk’s thoughts. “Okay, then. We have ten minutes, so you’d better go stand next to your crush,” and he laughed awkwardly, then went _owwww_ as Minhyuk stepped on his foot with a sweet smile and murder in his eyes. He pouted and walked away, muttering something about being unwanted by those he loved the most in this world, downing a cup of poison punch before shimmying his way onto the dance floor. Watching him, Jooheon winced. Minhyuk poked his dimple.

The minutes ticked down and they kept talking, kept laughing and maybe even borderline flirting, and Minhyuk’s heart beat louder with every passing second, waiting for Jooheon to walk away.

Because Minhyuk was undoubtedly the closest, close enough to maybe try his hand at the eyelash-counting thing again if he wanted to, close enough to see the tiny wrinkle in Jooheon’s brow reprise itself whenever someone stepped into their little bubble.

There was a huge realization trying to force its way into Minhyuk’s brain but he held it at bay because he hardly believed it. Jooheon didn’t _want_ to kiss him.

Did he?

And now there were numbers flashing on the TV, and Kihyun was already laughing up at Hyunwoo, and Minhyuk saw Hoseok wrap an arm behind Hyungwon’s head and pull him close. He filed that snippet of information away to deal with later.

Jooheon was still talking even though people were counting down and pairing up all around them, swirling his beer bottle like a frickin’ wine taster, and there were three seconds left on the stupid clock and Minhyuk was panicking and staring at Jooheon and waiting for him to do something, anything, because God knew he himself was pretty much paralyzed.

At the last second, Jooheon grinned and stepped closer and said, “aren’t you going to kiss me, hyung?” And the lights danced on his face, highlighted the bridge of his nose, painted his shirt like an aurora. He was cosmic. Surreal, almost.

So Minhyuk grabbed his face and kissed him, finally fucking kissed him, bringing their mouths together as the clock struck twelve. He vaguely registered the cheers erupting around them, too taken with the heady taste of beer on Jooheon’s breath, the feeling of his perfect Cupid’s bow against his own lips.

Minhyuk’s mental resolve broke, and as they pulled away, the realizations pushed their way into his head: Jooheon liked him. Jooheon liked _him_.

Jooheon looked at him, a quiet and questioning look, and said, softly, “was that, like, a friends thing, or…?” And Minhyuk remembered what he’d said earlier that day. Things could change. A sudden and terrible uncertainty gripped him. Shit, things could change really fast, couldn’t they? In one week, he would be gone again, and it would hurt a thousand times worse.

So he nodded and said, “Yeah, you idiot, a friends thing. Don’t get your hopes up,” and felt his heart break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O


	5. out of the matwix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re so, so dumb, Minhyukie. So dumb. I pray for you every day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok my apologies this took literally forever idk why but i could n o t write  
> this where things start to get better. its a little bit slice of lifey and chill  
> next chapter will be the last!!!! do you think i should add epilogues??
> 
> notes (aka my unrelated personal ramblings):  
> \- why do people always write jackson as namjoon's evil ex? do we know a different jackson???? (this is after i read a ton of bts fanfic lol)  
> \- FANTASIA X CONCEPT PHOTOS AND WONHO OH MY HEART  
> \- dont forget to let me know what you think!!!!!! all feedback appreciated always

Minhyuk didn’t know what he’d expected. For the world to right itself on its axis, maybe. For Jooheon to laugh and bump their shoulders together and everything to go back to normal.

On the surface, that was what it looked like, because Jooheon did laugh, and then he stared into the bottom of his bottle, and then he looked up again, small smile valiant in its struggle to stay on his face. It was strange to see sobriety slam back down over something hazy and dreamy. Stranger still because Minhyuk seemed to be floating out of his body. He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t.

Changkyun wobbled back over and leaned in conspiratorially and said, “I saw you guys kiiiiiissssss!”

Jooheon went “yeah” and shrugged, sticking out his lower lip and glancing up at Minhyuk, before ducking out from Changkyun’s arm and heading for another beer.

For a ridiculous moment, Minhyuk imagined following him and tugging on his sleeve and saying, “sorry, I forgot my line there. Can we take it again from the top?”

He blinked, suddenly nauseous and a little bit dizzy, and spent the rest of the night trying to justify it to himself. He’d done the right thing. He’d taken the path of least resistance. He’d stopped things from changing, and changing, and changing again, stopped them just when fate was getting too kind. He’d called the universe on its own game, and now he was back in familiar territory.

Someone refilled his cup and patted his shoulder at one point, saying something like “you okay?” or maybe “you gay?” but hey, Minhyuk didn’t discriminate. At any rate, he gave them a thumbs up so they went away, and went back to watching Hyungwon and Hoseok dance and then drink a little bit and then kiss a little bit and eventually steal out the front door. He watched Kihyun stop a couple from stripping in his room, watched the party wind down and the lights go up. Jooheon helped Jinyoung maneuver Jackson out the door. He didn’t look back.

Minhyuk suddenly felt empty, full as he was with snacks and crap and hellbrew.

Kihyun finished reassuring Taehyung that Changkyun could stay overnight, then closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh. Hyunwoo had fallen asleep on the couch in his dress shirt, and Minhyuk tried poking him awake so he would change, but he just mumbled something unintelligible and turned over. Kihyun threw a blanket over him, forced Changkyun to drink a glass of water, tied up one last trashbag, and said a soft “goodnight” to Minhyuk, who nodded back.

Changkyun was already half asleep on his bed, so Minhyuk climbed in next to him and tried not to think. Changkyun wiggled over and wrapped an arm and a leg around him, soft breathing lulling Minhyuk to a fitful sleep.

He woke up maybe half an hour later, nausea worse than ever, and he knew it wasn’t because of the punch. He found himself knocking quietly on Kihyun’s door after extricating himself from Changkyun’s grasp, turning the door handle and painting a strip of yellowy hallway light over the floor as his roommate’s sleepy voice said, “Minhyukie?”

Minhyuk stood there in the semidarkness and felt the first tear roll down his cheek. Kihyun blinked sleepily at him, then held his arms out, wordless. He held him while he cried, hushed him and rubbed his back, pulled him under the covers and wiped his cheeks and pet his hair until he fell asleep again. Minhyuk dreamed of nothing and wished, not for the first time, that he could turn back the clock.

\-- -- --

It was always kind of a toss-up where Hyungwon would end up the morning after a party. He didn’t really ever get that drunk, but on the few occasions he had, someone had got him back to his dorm, save for once when he woke up on Changkyun and Taehyung’s floor with two pairs of pants on. That was familiar enough, though, so he’d been okay.

This time, he woke up to light playing across his face and sheets he didn’t recognize, someone else’s weight dipping the mattress next to him, an unfamiliar scent in the air. It didn’t smell bad, like fresh air and cologne and sleep, maybe. He lay there for a few seconds, wincing at a mild but persistent headache, then stretched his arms with a yawn, and his fingers brushed Hoseok’s back.

Hoseok stretched, too, and rolled over to face him, pushing himself up on one elbow, covers slipping down around his bare shoulders as he blinked against the late-morning sunlight. He looked at Hyungwon for a few seconds, then leaned down to cup his face between warm palms and kiss him, softly, a tentative _good morning_. Hyungwon wound long arms around Hoseok’s neck, pushed his fingers back through Hoseok’s messy hair, laughed when he dipped down for another kiss.

It was a good way to wake up, he decided. Even if their morning breath was not strictly ideal. Even if he didn’t really know what this was, or what they were, or if there was anything there at all.

“What time is it?” Hoseok said, leaning all the way off his bed to feel around on the floor for his clothes.

“Um, I don’t know.” Hyungwon squinted out the window. “Maybe 12?”

“Are you trying to tell from the sun?” Hoseok asked, laughing, and swung his legs out of bed. He crossed the room to his desk and checked his phone: “It’s only eight. You were way off.”

“Eight? Oh my god, why am I awake?” Hyungwon said, flopping back down and crossing his arms over his eyes.

“Seven fifty-three, actually. What time do you usually get up?” Hoseok plugged the charger into Hyungwon’s phone, which was stupidly caring and a little bit adorable. Dear God, he was going domestic. This was not good.

“I don’t know, like, eleven? Oh, no, don’t tell me, you’re an early riser,” Hyungwon groaned, dragging the words out like they were a condemnation.

“Guess we’re not as compatible as I thought,” Hoseok said with a grin, climbing back into bed with his phone in hand.

Hyungwon stilled a little, because there it was—a hint of a future. A hint of continuity. With Hoseok.

Hoseok glanced over at him, like he’d felt the slightest change in the wind, then back at his phone. The moment settled around them, sunlight and softness and uncertainty piling up like snowdrifts.

“Hoseokie-hyung,” Hyungwon began, looking determinedly at the ceiling, “let’s go on a date.” He saw the corner of Hoseok’s mouth quirk up as he put his phone down.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he said, and there was that stupid smile again. “Coffee date?” He maneuvered himself up onto his elbows over Hyungwon, who pulled him down into another kiss.

“As long as it’s not Starbucks,” Hyungwon replied, laughing. He could get used to this.

\-- -- --

When Minhyuk woke up, he could barely open his eyes. Kihyun was a line of warmth down his back, arm slung over his waist, their bent legs slotting together like spoons. His roommate had stayed up almost until 4 a.m., waiting for Minhyuk to calm down, nodding and saying, “I know, I know. Shhh, it’s okay. I know.” When he’d subsided into hiccups, Kihyun had gotten up and changed his tear-soaked shirt before lying down and pulling Minhyuk close.

He hadn’t really told Kihyun what had happened. He couldn’t, not when his own guilt felt like shards of glass in his chest, but Kihyun had probably guessed to some extent.

Their relationship was definitely unique, he mused, as Kihyun shifted behind him in his sleep. When they talked, it was probably 80% bickering and 20% feelings. Minhyuk knew he was really tactile, and he knew that most of the time, Kihyun just put up with it and let himself be cuddled, that he rolled his eyes at Minhyuk’s flirty winks and suggestive eyebrow raises. He didn’t usually, like, initiate stuff. So this meant a lot. He felt safe, like this, in Kihyun’s arms.

 _No homo, though,_ his brain supplied helpfully. _No shit,_ he told it, then dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom.

He looked like crap, eyes red and puffy and sore, skin blotchy and dry, cheeks a little bit swollen. He scrubbed at his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair halfheartedly. Ugh, he needed to stop dyeing it. It was practically straw by now.

When he went back, Kihyun was sitting up and stretching.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened, or…?”

Minhyuk sat down next to him, rubbing his face. “Yeah,” he said, then shut up. Maybe if he took long enough to start talking, Kihyun would fall back asleep.

“I already know that you and Jooheon-ah kissed. Changkyunnie interrupted—um, he told us—me—at midnight.”

“He interrupted you guys?” Minhyuk said with a teasing grin.

“ _Yes_ , he interrupted us,” Kihyun said, flushing. “But yeah. So I don’t know why you’re so sad.”

Minhyuk was silent for a few seconds, then said, “Jooheonie likes me. He wanted to kiss me.”

“Yeah, we knew that already,” Kihyun said, rolling his eyes. “Please don’t tell me that’s why you were crying.”

“No, I—what? Who knew that already?”

“Like, everyone?” Kihyun frowned at him. “It was kind of, like, the most obvious thing ever in the history of ever. It’s not like he was constantly staring at you, smiling at you, making excuses to be with you, hugging you, cuddling you, feeding you…” he trailed off, eyes widening in realization. “Oh my god, you’re an idiot.”

“I’m an idiot,” Minhyuk echoed, falling back until his head hit the headboard. “He was talking about dating one of his friends in America and how things got all screwy, and how things could change, and stuff, and about you and Hyunwoo-hyung, and I thought… maybe, like, he didn’t want things to change.” He swallowed. “Maybe it would be better if things didn’t change. So when he asked if the, um, kiss was a friends thing, I said yeah. Friends. A friends thing.” He turned to Kihyun. “It’s not that dumb, right? I mean, it makes sense. Why I would do that.”

The truth was, he was forgetting why he’d thought it was a good idea in the first place, and it didn’t look like Kihyun was going to help him remember.

“You said _what_?” Kihyun yelled, and Changkyun made a low, unearthly noise from Minhyuk’s room. “You said what?” he repeated, quieter this time. “That makes literally zero sense.”

“I asked him if it was a bad breakup, with the American girl, and he said ‘no,’ and then he was like, ‘I was just reminded of how quickly things could change,’” Minhyuk said, voice a little desperate, half-rambling. “Doesn’t that mean he didn’t want things to change? With us?”

“It sounds like he was telling you it was okay even if things changed,” Kihyun said. His face dropped into his hands. “You’re so, so dumb, Minhyukie. So dumb. I pray for you every day.”

Minhyuk kicked him. Kihyun glared.

“You know you have to fix this, right?”

“How?” Minhyuk asked, banging his head back against the headboard a couple of times. “How the hell am I supposed to fix this?”

Kihyun didn’t reply. Someone knocked on the door, and a few seconds later, Hyunwoo walked in in his underwear and opened Kihyun’s closet.

“Good morning?” Kihyun said, bemused. Hyunwoo made a sleepy noise in response, rifling through one of his drawers and coming up with some pajama shorts.

“Those are never gonna fit you,” Minhyuk said, but Hyunwoo pulled them on anyway. They were just shy of indecently tight. Kihyun rolled his eyes but also swallowed hard. Minhyuk probably would’ve laughed at him if he wasn’t going through a major life crisis right now.

Hyunwoo crossed the room and sat down next to Minhyuk.

“Minhyuk-ah,” he began, slowly, doing that thing where he tipped his face forward and looked seriously out from under his eyebrows. “Jooheonie texted me.”

“Oh,” said Minhyuk.

“I’m not technically supposed to tell you this but I can’t imagine you don’t already know,” Hyunwoo said. “So. He likes you. And Kihyun told me you like him.”

Minhyuk turned a murderous glare on Kihyun, who tore his gaze from Hyunwoo’s arms, licked his lips, and said “huh?”

“What’s going on?” Hyunwoo asked, sitting back and tilting his head to one side. “Are you going to fix this?”

“How?” Minhyuk croaked. “I didn’t know he liked me until, like, yesterday.”

“Just talk to him,” Kihyun said, standing up a little too quickly. “I’m going to go resuscitate Changkyunnie and make breakfast. If you get your shit sorted out I’ll give you pancakes.”

\-- -- --

Okay, Minhyuk thought, opening up his chat with Jooheon. This was his apotheosis. His moment of enlightenment.

 **minhyukie hyung <3:**  
Jooheonie  
I don’t know if I can say what I want to over text.  
But I’m just  
so sorry  
so so sorry  
I didn’t know.

 **lee joo honey:**  
for what

 **minhyukie hyung <3:**  
huh?

**lee joo honey:**  
sorry for what 

That was an easy question, Minhyuk thought.

 **minhyukie hyung <3:**  
Lying to you.

Jooheon’s texting dot-dot-dots came and went, came and went. Minhyuk imagined him typing and deleting over and over again. The shards of glass in his chest grew ice-cold.

 **lee joo honey:**  
then call me  
and stop using punctuation its freaking me out

Minhyuk laughed, shakily, then called him. Jooheon picked up after the first ring.

“Minhyuk-hyung?” And God, he sounded almost eager. Minhyuk’s stomach did a slow roll as he thought about how much he’d hurt him.

“Honey-ah. I’m so sorry. I’m so so so so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was scared, I think, and remembering what you’d said about dating your friend, and then things changing between you guys. I guess. I didn’t want that to happen to us. It felt, like, too good to be true. Like there had to be a catch, or something.” He took a breath. “I know that sounds dumb. But...yeah.”

For a moment, there was nothing but soft cell phone interference. Then Jooheon spoke, his voice a little bittersweet.

“You know you’re allowed to have good things, right? Like. The universe isn’t out to get you.”

It was hard to believe that, really hard, but when Jooheon said it, something released inside of him. He let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Jooheon hummed, then went, “I don’t think change is bad. I think I was just trying to say that it, like, exists. Y’know? It’s passive. Like a catalyst. Unaffected and neutral throughout the reaction, or whatever.”

Chemistry. Minhyuk kind of wanted to make a chemistry pun. Copper and tellurium…

“I like you, Jooheonie,” he heard himself saying instead. “Have liked you ever since Kihyun dragged you in after tutoring and made you rap for us and your cute little squishable freshman face got all red but you still fucking killed it and then you made fun of me for being a weeb because of my _Haikyuu!!_ t-shirt.”

“I’m not squishable,” Jooheon said, and Minhyuk could practically hear him pouting.

“No, you’re not,” he said. Bit his lip. “Well, a little bit.”

Jooheon’s resigned sigh matched the weather outside. The sky was grayish, buildings weakly sepia, mid-morning moisture hanging cold and heavy in the air.

“Why didn’t you tell me, then?” he said, softly. “I don’t know how long I’ve liked you. I just know that I missed you a hell of a lot when I was overseas.”

“I didn’t think it would ever be mutual,” Minhyuk replied, and it felt good to be completely honest. “Never in the history of ever.”

Jooheon laughed, and said, “well, it is.”

There was a comfortable kind of silence in which Minhyuk felt himself come back to earth, felt his feet touch the ground again. “That’s good,” he said softly, because it was.

“Okay. I have to go,” Jooheon said, a smile in his voice. Minhyuk thought he heard Jackson’s voice in the distance. “Talk to you later, hyung.”

“Bye,” Minhyuk said, smiling back against his phone. “See you, Honey-ah.”

\-- -- --

**appa:**  
the admin office said i could drop the exchange

 **jooheon:**  
WHAT  
oh my god yyyyyay  
hyung r u gonna do it

 **appa:**  
i think so  
It feels right i mean  
to stay home

 **jooheon:**  
im happy for u hyungie :)))

 **appa:**  
im happy for you too jooheon ah  
i dont think minhyuk meant to hurt you

 **jooheon:**  
i dont think so either  
anymore

 **appa:**  
good  
also does he know about the  
thing

 **jooheon:**  
NO  
and you’re not gonna tell him

 **appa:**  
heh heh


	6. magic twix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :))))))))))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the realistic likelihood that 3 couples get together over winter break is not something i like to think about  
> also i did jooheon dirty im sorry  
> :)  
> i hope u guys like this, it's a little short ;-;  
> i spent two hours where i was supposed to be watching vid lectures doing this instead  
> there will probably be epilogues

“Here?” Kihyun asked, digging his thumb into the space under Hyunwoo’s left shoulder blade. Hyunwoo sucked in a breath and arched away from his touch, then relaxed. The darkness in the tiny kitchen-slash-living room was tinged a deep blue. Shadows shifted in the corners. The Super Smash character selection screen was open on the TV. They’d stopped playing after Hyunwoo had beat him with Wii Fit Trainer twice in a row.

“Yeah. Right there,” Hyunwoo said, voice tight. “Ow. It isn’t usually this bad.” 

Kihyun pressed harder and felt Hyunwoo tense up again. After a few seconds, he let go, and Hyunwoo exhaled back against him. His hair tickled Kihyun’s nose.

“You can’t sleep on this shitty couch any more, it’s messing up your back,” Kihyun said. “Sleep in my room.”

Hyunwoo turned to face him, frowning a little bit. “Where are you going to sleep?”

“Also in my room,” Kihyun said, smirking. “I don’t snore, I promise.”

Hyunwoo laughed a little bit, then rubbed his jaw, then shrugged. “Okay, if we fit.”

Kihyun grabbed his hand and dragged him to his room. Hyunwoo collapsed on the bed with a sigh of relief.

“Better, right?” Kihyun said, turning off the lights. He felt around in the dark. “Come here.”

It was exciting, pulling Hyunwoo in by the collar of his shirt in the dark, feeling him go quietly acquiescent as they kissed, warm and slow and faintly soda-flavored. Hyunwoo reached up to steady Kihyun’s face, drawing a thumb lightly across his cheekbone.

Kihyun wanted to memorize all of Hyunwoo’s habits, the warmth of his hands on his bare skin, the way he coaxed Kihyun’s mouth open while tracing small circles on his hip, the way he eventually settled back and let Kihyun take the lead. Kihyun finally let himself touch him, ran his hands down his arms and up his sides. He braced his hands on Hyunwoo’s thighs, bit softly at his shoulder, sighed out against his neck.

“Kihyunie,” Hyunwoo said quietly, and reached up and thumbed at Kihyun’s lower lip, pressed a lingering kiss to his open mouth. “I dropped the exchange.”

Kihyun pulled back to stare at him. 

“I can’t see anything but the whites of your eyes,” Hyunwoo laughed. “Say something. It’s freaking me out. _Ow_ , my legs, can you—”

“Oh my god,” Kihyun whispered, a grin breaking out over his face, tightening his grip on Hyunwoo’s thighs in excitement. “Really?” 

It was almost 1 a.m., but it felt like sunrise.

\-- -- --

**minhyukie hyung <3**  
honey yah  
let’s go shopping again

 **lee joo honey**  
7 eleven?  
meet u there

\-- -- --

Minhyuk put Kihyun’s car in park and opened the door. Jooheon was sitting on the bench outside the convenience store, staring down at his phone. He looked up as Minhyuk approached, sudden smile almost blinding. Minhyuk wanted to kiss his dimples so badly it hurt.

Instead, he held out a hand and pulled Jooheon to his feet, saying, “hey” in a voice much much too soft to be casual, but if Jooheon noticed, he didn’t show it.

They went inside and bought all the same shit, onions and cabbage and ice cream. They brushed shoulders in front of the ramen shelf again, shared sweet chocolate in the car, laughed into the hazy, golden space between them. Jooheon reached out to flick at Minhyuk’s earring and let his fingers linger on his shoulder before slipping off.

It hit Minhyuk that, if this moment was anything to go by, then things wouldn’t change, not really. It would always be them. Two stars in mutual orbit. Equal and opposite.

Minhyuk pulled out of the parking lot and steered carefully onto the road before glancing at Jooheon, gaze catching on his (perfect, perfect) side profile before he spoke.

“Hyunwoo hyung’s not going back to America,” he said, and it was a thinly veiled question. Not even close to subtle, but he had to know. _Are you?_

Jooheon let his head fall back. “Yeah,” he said, quietly. “I’ll miss him.”

Oh. Not that Minhyuk had been stupid enough to expect anything else. But. There had been a tiny spark of hope that he just couldn’t quash. Silence stretched between them.

“I’ll miss you,” he said, at last. His hands felt wiggly on the gear stick as he turned into the apartment lot and parked. He played with the keys for a little bit, then turned to Jooheon with a sunny smile. “Message me every day, okay?”

Before the moment could get any heavier than it already had, he got out of the car and grabbed the bag of groceries. Jooheon didn’t say anything, just followed him up the stairs and watched as he fumbled one-handed in his pocket for the keys outside the apartment door.

“Hyung,” Jooheon said softly, and Minhyuk turned to see something unfathomable and dark purple in his eyes, half sad and half amused, before he reached over and brushed Minhyuk’s bangs out of the way, slid his hand around to the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss. Jooheon’s fingertips were cold on Minhyuk’s neck, and his nose was cold on Minhyuk’s cheek, but his lips were warm warm warm and Minhyuk forgot to think for a little bit, forgot to do anything but stand there and clutch the grocery bag and drink Jooheon in.

When he pulled away with a tiny, embarrassed cough, Minhyuk’s brain kicked back into motion and he chased his touch, connecting a little more forcefully then he’d intended to. Maybe that fit, though, because their second kiss was deeper, messier, almost needy, and Jooheon licked into Minhyuk’s mouth and made him shiver. He reached for the lapels of Jooheon’s coat to pull him the tiniest bit closer, taste him more completely, because he tasted addictive, and he sounded addictive, and he gasped so prettily if Minhyuk bit his lip _just so_.

He reached blindly for the doorknob, sent them both stumbling inside, put the groceries down, and pressed Jooheon up against the back of the door, laughed against his mouth. This was it, wasn’t it? Their movie moment. Jooheon was sweet sunshiney solace and he was drowning, drowning in the hint of lemon on his tongue, the honey in his voice, and he didn’t give a shit. 

Jooheon pulled away, reached up and traced the bridge of Minhyuk’s nose with a fingertip. “You’re so pretty,” he said, and he looked so serious that Minhyuk laughed. “No, seriously. You don’t believe me, but you are. Like. A star or something.”

Minhyuk had no choice but to kiss him again after that, short and sweet, then tilted his head and kissed his dimple (fucking _finally_ ), then the tip of his nose.

“Full circle, right?” Jooheon said. He trailed a finger down Minhyuk’s throat. “Of course I’ll message you every day, you idiot. I’ll call you every day.”

“It’s like we’re Ross and Rachel,” Minhyuk said. “But I’m not gonna be an asshole and stop you, don’t worry. Go do your music stuff, then come back. I’ll wait.” And he laughed when they crashed into a wall on the way to his room because they were embarrassingly wrapped up in each other, let Jooheon push his jacket off and pull his shirt over his head, shivered when Jooheon’s lips found the back of his neck, traced his tattoo one more time.

Pairbonding was dead, he thought dazedly, as they fell into his bed together and Jooheon balanced over him and leaned down to kiss him senseless. After all, he’d already waited. What was a little more?

\-- -- --

**hyungwon:**  
r we watching a movie today

 **lee joo honey:**  
yes pls  
what r we watching

 **minhyuk:**  
empire strikes back

 **kihyunie:**  
oh nooooooo  
incest

 **tonguekyun:**  
chill it’s not that bad they kiss once

 **lee joo honey:**  
hm  
incest is incest tho

 **hyunwoo hyung:**  
you’re one to talk jooheon ah

 **minhyuk:**  
WHAT

 **tonguekyun:**  
WHAT

 **muscles hyung:**  
WHAT

 **hyungwon:**  
WAHT

 **lee joo honey:**  
HYUNG NO

 **kihyunie:**  
WHAT???

 **hyunwoo hyung:**  
did he never tell you why he broke up with his gf

 **minhyuk:**  
no :) he did not :)

 **tonguekyun:**  
omg why why why

 **lee joo honey:**  
hyung dont do this to me

 **hyunwoo hyung:**  
so he had a folder on his phone  
that was pictures of minhyuk  
and he let her add her fingerprint  
and she found it

 **lee joo honey:**  
i swear im pure  
it was just nice to see his face ;-;

 **muscles hyung:**  
gay

 **lee joo honey:**  
shut up

 **hyunwoo hyung:**  
and she was like whos this  
and he panicked and was like  
my cousin  
so she got weirded out

 **kihyunie:**  
understandably

 **minhyuk:**  
oh my god

 **hyungwon:**  
oh my god

 **lee joo honey:**  
jUST TO BE CLEAR THAT WASNT THE MAIN REASON WE BROKE UP  
she said she didn’t rly feel it anymore  
and i never rly did

 **kihyunie:**  
no that was definitely the reason

 **lee joo honey:**  
hyunwoo hyung you’re so dead

 **hyunwoo hyung:**  
my bad

\-- -- --

“What is it with you and early morning flights?” Minhyuk mumbled into Jooheon’s shoulder. He could almost hear Jooheon roll his eyes before he got up and shrugged Minhyuk off, gently enough that his face landed on a pillow.

“They’re cheaper,” Jooheon said, switching the lights on in Minhyuk’s bathroom. “Do you have an extra toothbrush? I don’t wanna open my suitcase.”

“Who do you think I am, Kihyun? I can barely find my own toothbrush half the time,” Minhyuk said, words disappearing into a yawn as he stretched and sat up.

Jooheon wrinkled his nose. “Yuck.”

Minhyuk halfheartedly threw a sock at him, then got up and got dressed. He stole out of his room and down the hall to the kitchen, balancing on his tip-toes to grab the last Twix and tuck it into his sleeve.

“Come brush your teeth,” Jooheon called from his room. “I can’t kiss you if you don’t.”

Kihyun’s door opened and he stuck his head out. “Can you guys not be gross first thing in the morning?” he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

“You’re just jealous,” Jooheon said, leaning into the hall with a smirk on his face, and threw Minhyuk’s sock back at him.

Somehow, they managed to get on the road on time. Hyunwoo and Jooheon fell asleep on the way there and Kihyun and Minhyuk made eye contact in the rearview mirror. It was weird to think about how, three weeks ago, they’d been in almost the exact same situation. But there were invisible lines drawn between the four of them now. Things had changed.

Minhyuk shook Jooheon awake when they got there. “Honey-ah. We’re here, you gotta check in.”

Jooheon blinked a couple of times, then reached over to pull Minhyuk in by the collar of his sweatshirt. They kissed in the backseat, and it said all the things Minhyuk couldn’t, and a good chunk of the things he could.

Kihyun knocked on the window and pointed at his watch, so they got out and Jooheon wrangled his suitcase from the trunk. “It’s just a couple of months,” he said, tugging his mask down to smile. Kihyun hugged him, and Hyunwoo hugged him, and Minhyuk hugged him a little bit too long and a little bit too tight. He slid the Twix out of his sleeve and gave it to Jooheon, saying, “for the road,” and winking. Jooheon laughed, and then he waved, and then he was gone.

Minhyuk felt the tiniest bit displaced on the way home, but he felt a tiny bit better as they made plans to stop somewhere for breakfast, as Kihyun shared a sad-ish smile with him in the mirror, as Hyunwoo started talking about how he was going to move back in with Jaebeom.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

 **lee joo honey:**  
takeoff soon  
i already finished the twix :(

 **minhyukie hyung <3:**  
destination: my heart~

 **lee joo honey:**  
that was painful

 **minhyukie hyung <3:**  
but u love me anyway ;)

 **lee joo honey:**  
i do

Oh.  
Minhyuk stared at his phone. Then smiled. Slid it back into his pocket. Leaned back and stared out the window.

He had a feeling the months would fly by pretty fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end!!!!  
> let me know if you have any ideas for epilogues/drabbles  
> thank you for reading~


	7. epilogue 1 - changkyun - twixts and turns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How many times have you guys hooked up since then?”
> 
> “I am a child of God, hyung. I would never--”
> 
> “Changkyunnie.”
> 
> Gravity pulled Changkyun’s forehead to the table again. “Twice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings (?): fwb, unrequited ish love ish
> 
> hiiiii im back after 3943i24389 years with my first epilogue woooo  
> this is about changkyunnie :') he is smol  
> sry wonho isn't really in this chapter :((( but hes in my heart~ and all those selcas whooo we r being fedddd
> 
> also ive never worked at starbucks, ive worked at a tea shop tho but it was like the lawful good version of starbucks which is definitely somewhere around chaotic neutral SO all my knwledge of it comes from wathching coffeeshop vlogs on youtube and idk how representattive those are of reality
> 
> in true mrdaikichi fashion this is 10000% unedited and also it's an unholy hour again so youll forgive me for my lack of um like cohesiveness :') i hope <3333 comments always appreciated :**
> 
> yEAH the chapter count is going to go up i'm not weAK

Minhyuk’s phone rang just as he was settling down for a nice night with Piaget. _Small mercies_ , he thought, glancing at the caller ID before picking up and going “moshi moshi!!”

“Hyung,” Changkyun began, and Minhyuk immediately knew something was up, because he hadn’t immediately seized the opportunity to call him a weeb. “Need a study buddy.”

“Okay,” Minhyuk said. “You in the engineering library?”

Changkyun rustled at him from the other end of the line for a little bit, like he’d forgotten where he was. “Cafe,” he said eventually. “The one with study booths.”

“Okay,” Minhyuk said again. “Be there in, like, fifteen.”

“Cool,” Changkyun said, and hung up. Minhyuk’s parental instincts were half-activated by the listlessness of his voice.

He grabbed a down jacket and his backpack, pausing in the living room on the way out. Kihyun was lying on the floor, kicking his heels up and down and clicking away at something on his computer. He looked cute, with his reading glasses perched on the tip of his nose, but Minhyuk would never give him the satisfaction of telling him that.

“You’re gonna get carpal tunnel,” he said instead. Kihyun ignored him. “Are you working?”

“Yeah,” Kihyun said, without looking up.

Minhyuk squinted at him. “I can see the reflection of your screen in your glasses, you know.”

“No, you can’t,” Kihyun replied. He kept typing, fingers suspiciously frequenting the same three or four keys in rapid succession.

“Fine,” Minhyuk said, “But I got you.”

“Sure.”

“I’m going to meet Changkyunnie at Cafe… thingy. The one over,” he gestured vaguely leftish, “over there.”

Kihyun just nodded and leaned closer to his computer screen. Minhyuk pulled his jacket on and stepped out into the chilly evening.

It was good to walk and breathe fresh air and feel his nose and cheeks pinkening in the cold, and even better to pull open the door of the cafe and have his hair blown back by a rush of coffee-scented warmth. He made his way over to Changkyun, who was on his phone, sipping at a cup of iced coffee.

“You’ll get sick if you have cold stuff right now,” Minhyuk said by way of a greeting, thunking his stuff down opposite him.

“Good,” Changkyun said. He took an unnecessarily long sip and coughed.

That in itself wasn’t worrying or out of the ordinary. “I wish for the sweet release of death” was kind of Changkyun’s go-to brand of humor.

“What did you want to talk about, then?” Minhyuk said, reaching for Changkyun’s drink and twisting the cup out from between his condensation-slick fingers.

“Taehyung,” Changkyun said, finally looking up and putting his phone facedown on the table. A few seconds later, he put his face facedown on the table, too, and made a quiet, despairing noise, like a sentient whoopie cushion.

“Okay,” Minhyuk said. “Pray proceed.”

“He and Jimin,” and here Changkyun paused, like he was trying to find the right words. “They took a break. They are taking a break.”

“And?”

“And nothing. That’s it.” Changkyun tried to steal his drink back to find that there was only ice left. Not to be deterred, he pulled off the plastic lid and tilted his head back. He crunched on ice and stared over Minhyuk’s left shoulder.

“How many times?” Minhyuk said, leaning to the side to catch his eye.

Changkyun blinked and said, “How many times what?”

Minhyuk didn’t have time for this.

“How many times have you guys hooked up since then?”

“I am a child of God, hyung. I would never--”

“Changkyunnie.”

Gravity pulled Changkyun’s forehead to the table again. “Twice,” he said. Minhyuk reached out and patted the top of his head sympathetically. When he sat up again, his eyebrows were pulled together.

“I know, logically, that they’re going to get back together. ‘Cause, like. They’re the perfect couple or whatever. I just…” He drummed his fingers on the table. “I’m probably just touch-starved or something, but it feels good.”

“Sex,” Minhyuk said, face completely straight. “Feels good. Wow.”

Changkyun kicked him under the table. “No, oh my god. Well, yeah, but my point is--” he took a deep breath, and Minhyuk felt a little bad for making fun of him. “We’ve never been anything more than, like, roommates, and really close friends, and cuddle buddies sometimes. But having something like this--like, something where we, I don’t know, comfort each other… oh my god, this is so gross, why am I even--but he’s really pretty, hyung, and I like spending time with him and he called me cute yesterday and it almost destroyed me and in a week him and Jimin will be back to normal and we’ll be back to normal, too, but I don’t _want_ to be.”

“Oh. That’s a lot,” Minhyuk said. “A lot lot.”

“I know, and I have to, like, cauterize my feelings somehow, so I figured I’d ask you, and you can, like, therapy me back to normal.” And the brat laced his fingers together and looked expectantly up at Minhyuk.

“Um. First of all, if I could cauterize feelings, don’t you think I could’ve sorted out my own fucked-up love life?”

“But you have,” Changkyun whined. He stuck out his lower lip. “You and Jooheon-hyung got together.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t start things off with an impromptu rebound friends with benefits arrangement,” Minhyuk said.

“Whatever,” Changkyun said. “Details. Just help me, okay? Please, hyung. When I get back to the dorm and he’s grinning at me from the shitty couch and his stupid blue hair is practically glowing, what do I do?”

There was actual strain in his voice, indecision and hurt, and Minhyuk couldn’t help but be a little bit pissed at Taehyung for kind of stringing him along. Honestly, the kid probably didn’t know what he was doing, either. He most likely just felt like shit after breaking up with Jimin. And, okay, there was definitely always something or other between Taehyung and Changkyun. Some kind of unspoken attraction, or maybe like an _I’m down if you are_ kind of thing. A dance-too-close-to-each-other at parties kind of thing. A there’s-no-telling-what’s-gonna-happen-if-we’re-drunk kind of thing. So that. Was a little bit complicated.

“I think you should maybe not, um.” Minhyuk bit his bottom lip. “Do the hanky panky again.”

Changkyun groaned and let his head fall back down again. They’d started getting worried looks from the lady behind the register, so Minhyuk wiggled his fingers at her, which probably only made things worse.

“I’m serious, though,” he pressed on. “Like. That’ll just make it that much harder, okay? You can’t do that to yourself again. Yah. Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, okay,” Changkyun said, and looked up. His bangs were plastered to his forehead and the set of his jaw was softer, more uncertain, much less decisive and defiant than normal. Minhyuk almost wanted to reach out and grab his face and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but that wasn’t really something he could promise, was it?

Because behind his deep, confident voice, sparkly eyebrow piercing, and affinity for black skinny jeans, Changkyun was still a baby. A freshman. Born in January and bumped up a class and annoyingly smart and a little bit cocky but so, so soft when he saw a puppy, or helpless when he fell in love, or adorable cranky when he was hungover.

“Stop that, hyung,” he said, wrinkling his nose. “You’re doing that ‘they grow up _so_ fast’ look again.”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes and opened _The Psychology of the Child_ again. “Whatever. You know I’m right, though.”

Changkyun didn’t respond.

\-- -- --

Minhyuk doubted that his advice made much of a difference, because he spotted the two of them together at Starbucks, sharing a chocolate chip frappuccino and playing Clash Royale, heads closer together than strictly necessary.

Hyungwon pulled Minhyuk aside to give him his latte. “This is a disaster,” he hissed, pointing at them with his chin. “He’s so fucked.”

Freezing air swept the shop at that moment as the door swung open. Jesus, Minhyuk thought, and Hyungwon gripped his arm tighter and sucked in a breath. Sweet baby Jesus in the manger this was so not good.

(He’d been trying to get more creative with his swear words and only really succeeded in being mildly blasphemous.)

A tall dude with a mop of blonde hair walked in, grinning at Hyungwon, and right behind him was Jimin.

“Hey, Namjoon,” Hyungwon croaked, and swallowed. He gave the dude a bro hug.

“Namjoonie-hyung,” Jimin said, softly, and the temperature seemed to drop a few degrees. His gaze was over Minhyuk’s shoulder. “I’m actually gonna go, okay?” And he smiled and Minhyuk barely knew the guy but his heart was already being tugged in two different directions and he was running out of Jesus-related ways to express how bad bad bad this was.  
And Jimin turned around and walked out.

Namjoon looked confused, then caught sight of Changkyun and Taehyung, laughing and oblivious, and the six expressions that flickered across his face in the next second made Minhyuk feel a kind of pathetic kinship with him. Hyungwon groaned and buried his face in Minhyuk’s shoulder.

One thing was for sure--this couldn’t end well.

\-- -- --

It was a cold Saturday morning when Changkyun showed up at their door and almost collapsed into Kihyun’s arms and cried silently into his shoulder. Actually cried. And Changkyun never cried, at least not sober.

Minhyuk’d been on FaceTime call with Jooheon and hung up hurriedly, whispering _Love you love you bye_ and he swore Changkyun heard him and started crying a little bit harder.

He came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, laying a cheek against the back of his neck. They stood there, Changkyun sandwiched between Kihyun and Minhyuk, until his shaking subsided and his breathing slowed.

“Why,” he began when they broke apart, “do the strings fucking attach themselves even when you don’t want them to?”

Kihyun and Minhyuk made worried eye contact. Changkyun scowled.

“I’m not crazy. Listen. No strings attached, right? No strings attached. We promised. But it’s like... like a stupid fucking red string of fate, except it’s an anti-soulmate red string of fucking pain, and it just like. Manifests or whatever. Even though you don’t want it to.” His voice broke and he rubbed his eyes. “Damn it, hyung.”

Kihyun pulled him back into a hug. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. Changkyun shrugged, and sniffled.

Minhyuk edged around them and pulled a half-finished tub of java chip ice cream out of the freezer. He got a spoon, too, and then fetched two blankets and the remote. They migrated to the couch.

“What is this, coffee?” Changkyun said, prying open the lid. “Gross. You hyungs and your adult tastebuds.” He shoveled out a heaping spoon and stuck it in his mouth.

“As if you don’t live on caffeine,” Minhyuk said, then wrapped an arm around his waist and settled his head on his shoulder. Kihyun sat down on the other side of him and turned on the TV.

Hyunwoo ended up knocking and letting himself in fifteen minutes later, and he squeezed himself between Kihyun and Changkyun, who fell asleep in his lap.

Changkyun’s shirt slipped off his shoulder just enough to reveal a fading love-bite, and Minhyuk’s heart panged. Hyunwoo ran his fingers through Changkyun’s hair and reached down to pull his shirt back up.

Such was the nature of life, Minhyuk thought, then cringed at himself for sounding like an old man. But it was true. People were hurt, and life moved on. He knew that, somewhere, Jimin was probably smiling again. It was a give and take. There were always going to be winners and losers. Or maybe those weren’t the right words.

He looked down at Changkyun’s tear-pinkened face and sleep-smooth brow. He would be okay. He would be back on his bullshit within a couple of weeks, and they’d be with him. There were a ton of different types of love, anyway. And he had time.

“Hyung,” Changkyun said, blinking sleepily up at Minhyuk. Hyunwoo’s hand stilled in his hair. “Chill, okay? I’ll be fine. Don’t look so serious.”

Minhyuk laughed a little bit. Smiled a little more.

Then Changkyun bit Hyunwoo’s thigh, saying, “why’d you stop petting me?” and Hyunwoo yelped.

Minhyuk added a few new creative swear words to his mental dictionary that day.


	8. epilogue 2 - joohyuk - twixtape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys warning for some spicy times aka heavily heavily heavily implied sexual content :) at what point does it become explicit tho..?.? i feel like ive not got there and i dont think i will but like, ye ah  
> notes-  
> -ok ive finally done some research and apparently the school year there ends with winter break? so winter break is kinda like the equivalent of summer break? so i guess jooheon would have been gone for half and half of 2 years? and that makes sense yeah totally, uh, logistics??? i know those i do those yep
> 
> -shameless fluff pls pray for ur teeth
> 
> -not mx related but agust d 2 AHJD fjkdjfdskjfs jowefwkl;;;

It was different, Jooheon thought, shivering outside Minhyuk and Kihyun’s door, the tingle in his aching fingers was different, the way his feet wiggled in his shoes was different, the way he had to squash a smile every three seconds. Different from when he’d sat across from Hannah, trying so, so hard to concentrate on what she was saying as she leaned forward on her elbows and smiled and chattered away, switching between barely-accented Korean and English so he could understand a little better. She was really sweet, honestly, and genuine and kind but. In that moment all he could see was that her wrists and forearms were slim and sunkissed just like Minhyuk’s, and it was fucking with his brain so much that he could hardly do more than smile and nod. That ended up happening a lot, him smiling and nodding and trying desperately to think about anything but Minhyuk’s pretty grin or, God, his _voice_ —somehow husky and pure at the same time, curling sweetly up at the ends of sentences—and she’d be waving her hand in front of his eyes, like, _really?_

As entertaining (and humiliating, he thought, heat flooding his ears and neck at the memory) the story about his ill-advised “cousin” photo album had been, it was more that than anything that had led to their breakup. The way he’d tuned her out for daydreams.

He winced. He still felt a little shitty about that.

When he’d gone back for the rest of the exchange, though, she’d smiled and arched an eyebrow and nodded to his lock screen—Minhyuk hugging a giant plushie and scrunching his nose in a way that made unlocking his phone the highlight of Jooheon’s day-—and he’d finally explained, staring at the floor in guilt and trying his hardest not to run his ass away. But when he’d looked up, she’d rolled her eyes and slapped his arm and said, “Finally.” So they’d been cool since then.

Now, Jooheon was standing with his heart hammering in his throat, and he’d rung the bell maybe three seconds ago and he could already hear Kihyun calling to Minhyuk to go open the door and Minhyuk yelling that he wasn’t wearing pants. Jooheon ended up face-to-face with Hyunwoo a couple of seconds later.

Hyunwoo was famously impossible to scare or surprise, but his eyebrows definitely quirked up when he saw Jooheon standing there with his huge suitcase and a finger to his lips. Thankfully, he stood aside and let Jooheon in, took his suitcase off his hands, and didn’t give it away when Kihyun called, “who is it?” from where he was putting clothes on a rack to dry.

“It’s, um.” Hyunwoo’s eyebrows pulled together. “Special delivery…?”

Kihyun turned around and his mouth fell open almost in slow motion, a pair of Minhyuk’s oldest blue basketball shorts slipping out of his hands and to the ground.

“You’re—but it isn’t Wednesday—did I forget to—?” He scrambled for his phone.

Jooheon walked forward, grinning and shushing him and shaking his head and hands reassuringly. “No, no, no, it’s all good. I hope I didn’t make you reschedule anything for that day. I had to sell it, though.” He turned his grin up to full wattage, because Kihyun definitely had a weak spot when it came to his smile, and held his arms out for a hug that Kihyun fell into.

“I can’t believe you did this shit,” Kihyun said from somewhere over his shoulder. Jooheon laughed quietly, pulling away. “Oh my god. Does, uh, Minhyuk…?”

Jooheon bit his lip and shook his head, searching Kihyun’s eyes to reassure himself this was a good idea. Kihyun covered his mouth with both hands and bounced a little bit, then turned Jooheon by the shoulders and gave him a push toward Minhyuk’s room, whispering _go go go_ behind him.

He felt his surroundings blur as he walked to Minhyuk’s room, the black trucker he’d worn to keep out the airplane chill suddenly too warm, painfully aware that he had no idea what was about to happen. That was a theme, a part of his brain realized. With him and Minhyuk. Uncertainty, but like, the kind that made your heart pound and soar and hope.

He knocked. Hyunwoo laughed a little behind him.

“Give me a sec,” Minhyuk called. “Pants.” There was a thumping and a rustling and finally, finally the sound of footsteps and the turn of a doorknob and--

Oh, wow, Jooheon thought, because Minhyuk was standing there, blinking in utter lack of comprehension, mouth falling open ever so slightly, bleached hair untamed and messy. He looked completely blank, but Jooheon’s eyes more or less drank him in. His shitty iPhone 6 FaceTime front camera didn’t do him any justice whatsoever, not compared to seeing him like this, real and touchable and beautiful and barely two feet away.

“Hi,” Jooheon tried, and Minhyuk screamed.

“Oh my fucking god!” he yelled, arms flailing as he stumbled back, then covered his face. He peeked out from under his fingers. “What the fuck? Oh my god, you—you bastard, is this real?”

Jooheon laughed, he couldn’t help it, and whatever he was going to say next was punched out of his chest as Minhyuk threw his arms around him and buried his face in his shoulder, clinging to him almost desperately. He barely had time to hug back before Minhyuk was pulling away just far enough to bring his hands up to Jooheon’s chin and cup his face and kiss him hard enough to almost lose his balance, then break away and laugh and put their foreheads together.

“Oh my god,” he said again. Pressed his pretty smile into Jooheon’s neck.

Real, tangible, beautiful, Jooheon thought dazedly. Said, “I missed you.” Winced at the way his voice cracked just a little.

“Are you crying? Are you getting this, hyung?” Kihyun said, gleefully. Jooheon saw Hyunwoo shuffle around to get a better angle with his phone. Damn it.

“No, I’m just allergic to your dumb face,” Jooheon said, trying to free his arms. Minhyuk laughed again and wiped his thumbs under Jooheon’s eyes and kissed him again, soft and sweet.

“I hate you,” Minhyuk said, grinning as he pulled away, still clutching the front of Jooheon’s jacket. “You can’t just do this to me. I had my airport outfit all picked out. I look like shit.”

“You never look like shit,” Jooheon said, completely serious. Minhyuk flicked his forehead. Kihyun retched in the background.

“Have you eaten?” Hyunwoo said, ending the video and sliding his phone back into his pocket. Jooheon had to get his hands on that video. For personal reasons. Destructive personal reasons.

“Uh, no, not yet,” Jooheon replied, wriggling out of Minhyuk’s grip and edging up to Hyunwoo to try and get a hand in his pocket. Hyunwoo fended him off with one hand and said, “okay, we have instant udon.”

“Sounds good,” Jooheon said, distractedly, and wrapped his arms around Hyunwoo’s middle. “Minhyukie-hyung, help me.”

“No, I want that video,” Minhyuk said, following Kihyun into the kitchen and filling a pot with water. “I’m saving it forever.”

“What? Why? It’s so embarrassing,” Jooheon whined, abandoning his efforts against Hyunwoo and taking off his jacket. 

“It’s cute,” Hyunwoo said.

“It’s gross,” Kihyun countered, slapping Minhyuk’s hand away from a bag of shredded cheese. “Perfect blackmail material.”

Minhyuk made a face at the back of his head, then grabbed a bottle of cold green tea from the fridge. “At least now I don’t have to suffer you and Hyunwoo-hyung’s PDA alone.” He unscrewed the cap and took a drink, tipping his head back so the bob of his Adam’s apple was fatally visible. He dragged the back of his hand across his lips almost in slow motion, and Jooheon’s mouth ran dry as they made eye contact.

Okay. It hadn’t really started with physical attraction, not really. Like, he’d always known that Minhyuk was good-looking, and stupidly so, but he only ever thought about it when he was being self-deprecating. And he was just his weird, clingy hyung. One of his best friends. Nothing more.

Slowly, overtime, his feelings warmed and softened, like clay in warm hands, until they kind of. Melded to the image of Minhyuk he had in his mind. As they spent more time together, his mental Minhyuk collected more tiny slices of life like dust bunnies. Cold coffee and video games, white basketball socks with gray toes, mirror selfies with the flash on, muffled midnight laughter. Slaps on the knee and warmth-seeking hands creeping into his pockets. A finger under his chin and a wink and his name yelled out loud, too loud, across the silence of the library.

And then.

He started to notice the other stuff, too, like the way Minhyuk’s absurdly high cheekbones cast shadows on the sides of his face, his architecturally straight nose, the way his nostrils were perfectly, adorably circular, the way his entire face scrunched up when he smiled, prettily, slightly crooked white teeth on full display. Little things, but they added up, and he found himself falling for someone so beautiful he’d literally been approached by a scout once at a bowling alley. And he had no chance.

They’d grown comfortable with each other over time, and Jooheon had always played with the idea that maybe something could happen, far in the future, when they didn’t have classes to worry about or tests to take. Sometimes, he let himself hope, when Minhyuk slung his legs across his lap or grabbed his hand as they walked together, and he had to remind himself that that’s how he was with everyone.

And now, all of a sudden, Jooheon could touch him whenever he wanted to, call him stupid impulsive pet names and tilt his face up for a kiss and make him smile. Because. Minhyuk liked him too. Was painfully and pathetically in love with him, to hear Kihyun tell it.

That realization knocked him breathless, not for the first time but definitely not the last, as he looked at Minhyuk in the kitchen, gaze drawn to his mouth, the line of his neck, his startled eyes, and he was just. So, so, so, so beautiful. And it was almost too much to bear thinking about without falling over, so he opened his mouth and said “um” and froze, praying that gravity didn’t fuck him over. It was frustrating, to be dripping with effortless charisma one second and to be reduced to a flustered mess the next by a sugar-high puppy in human form. But that was the particular punishment life had laid out for him, so he didn’t resist it, and melted back into Minhyuk when he danced over to hold his waist from behind and say "Honey-ah. My Jooheonie, swag man,” in his ear and pepper kisses down the side of his face and tell him he was cute over and over again.

It was even better when they got some time to themselves, and Kihyun locked himself in his room with his headphones in and a look of horrified resignation on his face and Jooheon got to press Minhyuk into his mattress and taste his sweat-damp skin, swallow the needy little sounds he made and feel his pulse fluttering against his lips.

“Jooheonie,” Minhyuk murmured, sounding almost reverent, and he wrapped an arm around the back of Jooheon’s head and pulled him down for another kiss, hot and desperate and dirty, letting his mouth slide to his jaw, biting softly at a spot under his ear, arching up as Jooheon rolled his hips down hard, lips parting around a silent sigh.

“Baby,” Jooheon said back, because he couldn’t help it, and Minhyuk looked utterly ruined, kiss-bitten and breathless and twistedly angelic, and Jooheon didn’t think he could fall any harder than he already had. “Baby,” he said again, softer this time, and Minhyuk’s eyes fluttered closed and his head fell back and oh, wow, this was a lot but he thought he could do it maybe forever and not care.

“I love you,” he mumbled into Minhyuk’s sweaty hair after they’d come down from their high. “I’m serious. Like I’m actually in love with you.” He groaned and buried his face in Minhyuk’s neck. “I can’t believe I said that.”

“Do I even need to say it back?” Minhyuk said, propping himself up on one elbow to look into Jooheon’s face. He kissed the tip of Jooheon’s nose and caught his lower lip gently between his teeth, squirming and giggling when Jooheon slipped an arm around his waist and let their tongues slide together, slow and lazy. He pulled away and wiped his mouth and wrinkled his nose and leaned down close and whispered it in Jooheon’s ear, then rolled away to bury his face in his pillow with a soft _eeeeee_. Jooheon laughed, low and golden, and pressed a kiss to his shoulder, trailed kisses down his spine, traced his ribs with an errant finger and let his arm settle in the crook of his waist.

He knew, somehow, that this was it for him. The endgame. That even if they ever grew apart they’d be pulled back together like magnets, over and over again, in and out of time and space and even, like, fucking reincarnation cycles.

And if that wasn’t love, then what was?


End file.
